Random Rant

For some reason, I have a strange compulsion to share about myself. I have all these thoughts spinning around in my head and I’m starting to get dizzy. Plus, I am not focusing on my art history like I should. So perhaps this will help.

  1. I am a dreamer. I dream almost constantly. Not just when I’m sleeping and not just nice “here is what my future will look like” dreams. I imagine every scenario in my head, realistic or otherwise. It’s my type of escape. The only problem is, I often forget to come back to reality. So if you hear me talking or gesturing and I seem completely disconnected that’s probably exactly what has happened. I disconnect when things aren’t going well. I know eventually I’ll have to always live in this world but I don’t know what I’d do without my dreams.
  2. I have a bad habit of trying to make everyone happy. Not because it isn’t a noble goal, but because it is impossible. I try to be everything to everyone and I end up burned out. But I know I also am quite selfish. So its not that I am always giving or anything like that. I just change who I am to fill in voids way too easily.
  3. I love my job. Even though I rarely want to go, spending time with kids can make my day so much better. I like the fact that I’m needed and that there is someone always asking “Chloe, can I show you something?”
  4. I am horrible at lying to other people but amazing at lying to myself. I have figured out how to change my memories. While this helps with the rough patches in life, it also makes me doubt what really happened and can be quite confusing. I can seperate who I really and who I am being so I end up unsure of which is real. I’m sure I’ll figure it out someday soon.

I have more to say, but I think I’ve sufficiently emptied out my brain so I can now memorize more pieces of art. ta ta for now.

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