DISCLAIMER: The following was written in complete jest. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Forward-thinking Elm Lane Church expands Career Coaching and Counseling Ministry to include positions in the afterlife for pastors whose services will no longer be in demand in the new heavens and new earth.
“For us, the expansion into New Earth job training for current pastors who are soon to be unemployed in the afterlife was a natural extension of our current mission and ministry,” said Career Coaching and Counseling Ministry Pastor Tim Brownlee.
The inspiration came from a Career Coaching volunteer after some Scripture typography paraphrasing 2 Peter 3:11 caught her eye on Instagram.
“It hit me as fast as I could double-tap that inspirational quote. We’ve been training folks for useful vocations in this earth but this earth might be gone tomorrow. What about all the pastors and parachurch ministry workers? What are they going to do in the new earth where there is no brokenness to heal and no community groups to organize? We need to be preparing them for the new heaven and earth where there services are no longer needed.”
The Career Coaching and Counseling Ministry is now offering the following services for any pastors or ministry workers looking to strengthen their afterlife vocational skill set:
- Resumes After Revelation: Optimize your CV for Eternal Hireability
- Everlasting Interview Tips: Top 10 Questions Saint Peter Will Ask
- LinkedUp: Professional Networking Skills To Land Your Dream Job
Chloe J Sayers 
hahaha! I loved this post!
“It hit me as fast as I could double-tap that inspirational quote.”
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