Nowadays, I have two motivations for blogging. 1) I have studied in excess and am about to disconnect from this world, its lovely people, and sanity. 2) I am waiting for my laundry to be done. Tonight falls into the latter category. I keep finding new ways to make the laundry process more efficient. This is wonderful as it allows me to spend less money on laundry aka more money on coffee. I don’t have a great point to make or structure to follow tonight. Just a few disconnected thoughts.
It’s funny how you can be with people almost 24/7 and be social and all those good things yet still be completely alone. Perhaps that sounds sad and lonely, but to me, its absolutely wonderful. It’s impossible to engage all the time; learning how to be in your own world while still functioning in the real one is a very valuable skill.
Two things happened to me this week with counteracting effects. First, my headphones completely died. Later that day, my phone decided that it would no longer let me hear whoever I was talking to. Once I realized this, I completely abused my advantage and delivered lovely long-winded monologues to the unfortunate person on the other “end of the line”. I’m sad to say, but my headphones dying was much more inconvenient than my phone. I didn’t realize how often I used them to block out the world. The music I didn’t miss all that much and it wasn’t that I couldn’t find quiet places to study, its just that now I had no legitimate excuse to ignore people. I don’t like this about myself, that I have this intense need to only listen to my thoughts at times. Its really quite selfish.
I am content with a silent world where I can only see the lips moving and the trees swaying and never stop to hear what the people and the wind have to say. Not all the time, mind you, this is only a temporary desire that passes once I find the opportunity to be an introvert. I was pleasantly surprised to find that, by the end of the week, I genuinely missed hearing someone’s voice on the other end of the phone. It may have taken me a week, but at least I got there.
And now, I believe/hope that my laundry is done so I can go to bed.
Until next time,
Chloe of many worlds